Books on etiquette. The rules of good tone. Encyclopedia of etiquette


Getting into the business environment of communication, wondering about raising a child, participating in a cultural event, inviting friends to meet, meeting ordinary people, vendors, bus drivers, during the day, in one way or another, we get involved in the process of communication. Written many books on etiquette, describing many rules. Let's look at the main ones.



The ability to be tactful is very important in communicating with other people. Tactfulness is a kind of sense of proportion, based more on intuition and the ability of the brain to quickly analyze a situation. A person feels and realizes when and what he can say, and vice versa. Or presents his proposal, decision, point of view, advice in such a way as not to offend the feelings of another person.

A sense of tact cannot be innate, it is laid in the head of a child for years in childhood and adolescence, and then it automatically works in the right situation. Therefore, raising a child, it is important for parents to familiarize themselves with books on etiquette for children. If at a young age information about the correct behavior passed by - not scary. Anyone can develop tact by reading and applying in practice tips from books on etiquette.

Tact rules

The basic rules of tact are:

  • It is forbidden to sharply abandon the topic of conversation, no matter whether you understand it or not.
  • It is forbidden to bring up for discussion a situation or memories of the past that may hurt the feelings of another, regardless of whether he is present during the conversation.
  • Books on etiquette prohibit laughing at someone, lying, making inappropriate jokes, talking about health problems or dysfunctional situations occurring in a family, complaining about a wife / husband, putting family troubles and misunderstandings for discussion with friends.
  • You must always be confident in the accuracy of the information that you present.
  • Be moderately friendly and helpful.
  • To be moderately curious, leaving untouched the personal space of another person (it is forbidden to read other people's correspondence, eavesdropping, peeping).
  • If a friend has something happened with the appearance (ink flowed, clothes torn), tell him quietly so that others do not hear.
  • The rule of good tone includes the ability to always own your emotions, regardless of the situation. It is forbidden to leave abruptly, ignore those present. If the interlocutor you imposed and do not like, answer briefly, but politely.
  • Before you come to visit, you need to agree on this in advance.
  • Watch your appearance, dress with taste: gracefully, but restrained.


Preference rule

The encyclopedia of etiquette includes a few rules other than tact. For example, the rule of preference. Women have an advantage over men, older ones over young people, patients over healthy ones, superiors over subordinates, and so on.

It works both in a greeting, and in case it is necessary to give way or a place in public transport. In addition, there is an unspoken rule: if a woman, a man, an elderly person came with a small child, they are in the preferential queue and pass the first.

In books on etiquette there is a slight deviation from the norm. Faced at the door, if the conversation with apologies was delayed, the one who first gets a double sentence must go ahead.


The rule of male courtesy

When visiting a theater or a restaurant with a woman, a man should help her to take off and put on outerwear, ensure that she has a means of transportation, fast service, and a safe return home. A man should go upstairs after a woman, go down first - this gives him the opportunity to help the lady if necessary.

General rules


According to the rules of good tone, there are a few more mandatory standards:

  • It is forbidden to dry an umbrella at a party or at work.
  • On the table or chair is allowed to put only handbags of small sizes.
  • Always offer help and thanks for the offer of help, no matter whether you agree to accept it or not.
  • Always follow the posture, gait.
  • It is forbidden to shout over the interlocutor, raise the voice.
  • You can not sit indoors in outer clothing, but it is allowed to cover her shoulders.
  • It is forbidden to blow your nose in public, you need to move to a deserted place and blow your nose quietly using a clean handkerchief.
  • Required moderate gesticulation. You can not push, grab a person by the hand, spank on any part of the body, your own or someone else's, swing your arms, swing your legs. One must always remain calm.
  • If you are leaving a family dinner or a meeting, you do not need to say goodbye words loudly for everyone, just nod to those present.
  • It is forbidden to scratch the scalp, pick your finger in the nose or ears.
  • Visiting a cultural event, such as a theater, before sitting down, you need to bow to the neighbors.
  • If you are invited to visit, it is important to first greet the hostess, then the owner, all the others are sorted by age from large to small.
  • Total jewelry on the body and clothing should be no more than thirteen. This number includes cufflinks, buttons, tie clips.

Etiquette and mood

What to read about etiquette, in particular about the mood? There are many books that will help restore spiritual balance. The authors advise: even if you are in a bad mood, upset about something or angry, you should not show it in public. For the people around you should be discreet and friendly. In addition, smiling, you raise your spirits.


Rules for men

In addition to the above, in the books on etiquette there are additional recommendations for men:

  • The eldest senior male executive should greet first with female employees.
  • Always be clean shaven.
  • Make sure the nails are clean, cut them short;
  • Follow hairdo. Ideally, visit the hairdresser twice a month so that a new haircut is not noticeable.

The issue of compliance with the rules of good tone is very relevant today. Each generation brings up the new, and it, in turn, learns, watching the behavior of their elders. The books on etiquette by authors Elena Vos, Anatoly Balakai, Dave Collins, Goldin will help learn how to control their behavior and communication, and Dmitriev's Alphabet of Etiquette works well for kids.

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